To date there have been eleven X-Men or X-Men adjacent movies released, all from Fox. I’ve made no secret in the past that I have not been a fan of them from the beginning, though there have been several that I liked to loved. Here is the official Super Doctor Astronaut opinion on each film from worst to best.
WARNING: HELLA SPOILERS AHEAD
11. X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
directed by Brent Ratner
You will see in the upcoming entries how I feel about Bryan Singer (spoiler: I’m not a fan) but if there’s a director I like less than Singer it’s definitely serial sexual harasser and overall scumbag Brett Ratner. He’s made a lot of money for a lot of people by churning out mediocre entertainment for years, and his treatment of the X-Men is less than kind. Singer left the franchise to direct his garbage Superman movie, and essentially traded places with Ratner who was originally set to direct. Matthew Vaughn (who I generally like as a director) was set to helm X-Men but left the project due to the rushed production schedule, so since Ratner was now free he came on board.
Got all of that?
Against all odds, it was a film that somehow manged to be worse than X-Men Origins: Wolverine by the simple fact that not only is it stupid, but it is insulting. Cyclops is killed offscreen due to the fact that James Marsden had a larger role in Singer’s Superman Returns. Cyclops. The founding member of the X-Men and arguably the most important character in the over 50+ years of their existence. Professor Xavier is killed (don’t talk to be about the end of the credits). Halle Berry continues to play Storm badly. They have Vinnie Jones at the Juggernaut (which, okay, whatever) but have him say internet meme “I’m the Juggernaut, bitch!” to Rogue without the actor understanding the context and so coming off as just pandering.
This is in addition to ruining the Dark Phoenix storyline enough that Fox had to try again, Ratner also managed to out Ellen Page during the production, just in case you didn’t think he was scummy enough.
This movie is the worst.
10. X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)
directed by Bryan Singer
On paper, this didn’t seem like the worst idea. Using the kids from X-Men: First Class in the 80s? Sounds fun. Oscar Isaac as Apocalypse? Interesting casting, but he’s a fantastic actor, so I’m down. Recasting Storm? Please. And she has the mohawk?
Fox spoiled a lot of expectations by featuring the cast on the cover of Entertainment Weekly where everyone got to see Apocalypse look just like Ivan Ooze from the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.
And then they debuted a billboard showing Apocalypse choking Mystique, which was criticized for its depiction of violence against women.
Let’s talk about Apocalypse for a minute. He’s kind of a silly character when you see him, all blue and with the weird lips and tubes and stretching. As a concept though he’s much more interesting. He isn’t the type of character who should be gallivanting around, he should be lurking in the shadows directing his chess pieces. There was one image for the trailer that gave me hope, of Apocalypse growing huge and pinning Xavier to the ground, which looked pretty awesome and intimidating.
But alas, the movie is a mess. Destruction on a massive scale without consequences, yet another movie where director Bryan Singer hates bridges (seriously, he destroys some in almost every X-Men movie), millions of people must have died, but NBD. Magneto becomes an acolyte of Apocalypse (uh huh), Psylocke is both ruined by terrible writing and the fan service skimpy costume, Jennifer Lawrence continues to ruin Mystique, Angel/Archangel looks and is stupid, the plot is incomprehensible… I only have so much room here. I’ve seen each of these movies at least twice, and this is almost the last one I’d revisit (I guess that’s why it’s second to last on my list).
9. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
directed by Gavin Hood
You might have thought that this would be the worst, but it’s not. While it’s stupid, incomprehensible and insulting to comics fans it’s also never boring. Give me a couple of beers and some friends to make fun of it with and I’ll be happy to watch this disaster again.
Ryan Reynolds did not have a good time playing Deadpool for the first time.
“So we were in the middle of production, there were no writers, no anything. Every line I have in the movie I just wrote myself because in the script we had, it said, ‘Wade Wilson shows up, talks really fast.’ I was like, ‘What?! What am I supposed to do with that?'”
https://ew.com/article/2016/02/10/ryan-reynolds-explains-x-men-origins-role/
I’m not much of a Deadpool fan, but even I was irritated at them sewing his mouth shut and giving him lasers etc.
However, this movie also had Liev Shrieber as Sabertooth, an inspired casting choice if I ever saw one. Danny Huston is in this too, and I’m generally a fan of him. The plot is like someone read a bunch of Wolverine comics while taking DMT. There is so much nonsense going on that you might have forgotten that will.i.am from the Black Eyed Peas is in it dressed as a cowboy for some reason.
I mean, Gambit is in this movie.
I’m not sure how he apparently has telekinesis and can run up walls, but…words fail me. There’s terrible CGI, godawful writing, garbage directing…but it does have this scene of Logan dueling with a helicopter? So there’s that.
8. The Wolverine (2013)
directed by James Mangold
We’ve now hit the part of the list where the movies are no longer rubbish but are also not particularly good. That’s kind of the sweet spot for The Wolverine, which was the first of two Wolverine movies directed by James Mangold and by far the lesser of the two. Apparently it was originally supposed to be directed by Darren Aronofsky– can you imagine how crazy that movie could have been? Makes me think of how David Lynch turned down Return of the Jedi for Dune.
Sort of based on the 1982 limited series by Chris Claremont and Frank Miller, this movie tries to cram in all of the Japanese elements of Logan’s back story. There are a number of positive things about the movie, from how it takes the character of Wolverine seriously for the first time and tries to create an actual emotional journey for him but ends up sinking under the weight of a ludicrous third act.
Wolverine and ninjas are usually like peanut butter and chocolate, two tastes that go great together, but what works on the page doesn’t necessarily translate to the screen. How can ninjas be boring? I have no idea, but this movie does it. I’m just glad James Mangold was able to take a second crack at the character and really hit it out of the park with Logan. This movie is a pass.
I do appreciate that this film is either retconned or just ignored for the rest of continuity, as somehow Silver Samurai is able to chop off Logan’s claws(?). Honestly, though, my favorite thing in this movie is the bed that Ichirō Yashida has– tell me that this thing wouldn’t be super comfy?
7. X-Men (2000)
Directed by Bryan Singer
Here’s the one that started it all, for better or worse. At the time Bryan Singer had only made two widely available independent films, cult favorite The Usual Suspects and mediocre Stephen King adaptation Apt Pupil. He seemed an interesting choice for a director at the time, someone who was trying to make his mark and had made at least interesting films.
Singer’s film took the X-Men seriously. Very seriously. While it understood that the X-Men represented a metaphor for a lot of marginalized groups the film unfortunately lost sight of the warmth and humor of the characters.
The film gave us McKellen and Patrick Stewart as Magneto and Professor Xavier, both inspired bits of casting. An unknown newcomer from Australia who was a musical theater actor named Hugh Jackman would play the probably most difficult role to cast, Wolverine.
All three of these choices were excellent, though Professor X was written as a kindly father figure rather than the jerk that we know and love and hate (which is a pity, because Patrick Stewart would have knocked that characterization out of the park). Jackman was a revelation– he could be both tough and funny and though he was about a foot too tall he really nailed the part of Logan. I don’t recall anyone being unhappy with him at the time.
The rest of the cast didn’t fare nearly as well. Famke Janssen (an actress I otherwise really like) was wildly miscast as Jean Grey, stiff and humorless. James Marsden didn’t have much to do as Cyclops rather then smirk and wear goggles. Anna Paquin brought none of the warmth and charm to Rogue that the character requires– years later she would play Sookie in True Blood and would be much closer to how Rogue should have been portrayed.
And then there’s Halle Berry, who gave a notoriously bad performance as Storm, a role that was just made for Angela Bassett. Joss Whedon was hired to punch up the script and…well…I’ll let you read it for yourself.
Joss Whedon: …It was the same situation with X-Men. They said, “Come in and punch up the big climax, the third act, and if you can, make it cheaper.” That was the mandate on both movies, and my response to both movies was, “The problem with the third act is the first two acts.” But, again, no one was paying attention. X-Men was very interesting in that, by that time, I actually had a reputation in television. I was actually somebody. People stopped thinking I was John Sweden on the phone. And then, in X-Men, not only did they throw out my script and never tell me about it; they actually invited me to the read-through, having thrown out my entire draft without telling me. I was like, “Oh, that’s right! This is the movies! The writer is shit in the movies!” I’ll never understand that. I have one line left in that movie. Actually, there are a couple of lines left in that are out of context and make no sense, or are delivered so badly, so terribly… There’s one line that’s left the way I wrote it.
O: Which isJW: “‘It’s me.’ ‘Prove it.’ ‘You’re a dick.'” Hey, it got a laugh
O: It’s funny that the only lines I really remember from that movie are that one and Storm’s toad comment.
Source: https://www.avclub.com/joss-whedon-1798208181
JW: Okay, which was also mine, and that’s the interesting thing. Everybody remembers that as the worst line ever written, but the thing about that is, it was supposed to be delivered as completely offhand. [Adopts casual, bored tone.] “You know what happens when a toad gets hit by lightning?” Then, after he gets electrocuted, “Ahhh, pretty much the same thing that happens to anything else.” But Halle Berry said it like she was Desdemona. [Strident, ringing voice.] “The same thing that happens to everything eeelse!” That’s the thing that makes you go crazy. At least “You’re a dick” got delivered right. The worst thing about these things is that, when the actors say it wrong, it makes the writer look stupid.
There is a lot right with this movie, but so so much wrong. The production design is great, from the X-Mansion to the Blackbird to the costumes. I liked how they took Magneto’s journey seriously. Magneto’s plastic prison is cool. Unfortunately, the script is otherwise bland, the casting is mostly lame, and the story boring. Singer would do a better job with X2, but at least this was a halfway decent start.
6. X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)
directed by Bryan Singer
Another example of a great idea and great cast derailed by a mediocre script and over reliance on Wolverine as the central character, DOFP took the other stone cold classic X-Men story and reshaped it into something that is less than the sum of its parts.
There is a lot in this movie to like. The opening is as good as anything Singer has ever done, showing the X-Men fighting as a real team, something that is vital in the comics but generally takes a back seat in the movies to Wolverine stabbing things. Blink using portals is nearly worth the price of admission alone. Plus, Bishop! Sunspot! Warpath! Colossus!
And then we go back to the past. In the original story, Kitty Pryde is the central character in the story and in a perfect world she would be here too– I always thought Ellen Page was ideal casting for her, but the snarky Page of Juno is once again absent and instead we get the sullen, pouty Kitty who is not only completely wasted in the film but also has mysteriously developed weird time travel mind swiping powers?
The 70s are sort of fun, once they go back in time. I like that Magneto is the one who killed Kennedy, though I don’t really know why he would bother. Peter Dinklage is an interesting choice to play Bolivar Trask. The film managed to make a much more interesting Quicksilver than the MCU did, though he bears little resemblance to the comic character. His big scene in the film is absolutely one of the highlights of the entire franchise.
The third act really spoils a lot of what came before it, favoring spectacle over substance and disregarding logic. Somehow Magneto can control the Sentinels (which look mysteriously like Dyson vacuum cleaners) by sticking metal rods in them, which somehow reprograms them? Baseball stadiums are lifted, big moral decisions are broadcast on national television, everyone lives happily ever after until the next catastrophe.
Everything is a big mess, which is a pity, because there is a lot to like in this movie. It’s probably the first one on this list that I’d willingly rewatch for it’s good parts.
5. X2 (2003)
directed by Bryan Singer
I struggled whether to put this higher or lower than Days of Future Past. I don’t think its as good of a movie overall, but the good parts more than make up for the bad, so… I guess it’s up to you.
The opening scene with Nightcrawler is basically perfect (as well as having Alan Cumming playing him– it was a blow to the franchise that he didn’t continue). Magneto’s prison escape (and the method used for it) is just, well, awesome. The Weapon X program is actually kind of well done.
Most importantly, the scene with Iceman coming out to his parents as a mutant (retroactively also kind of funny as he has been revealed as gay in the comics) almost justifies the entire movie. It nails the balance of humor and pathos that would later come to define the MCU, and despite the irritating actor who plays Pyro (or the direction of him, it might not be his fault) it provides both laughs and a concrete analogy to real world issues.
As usual, I really dislike the portrayal of Storm and Jean Grey, and both Rogue and Iceman (this scene notwithstanding) are both generally annoying, and the whole thing with Magneto using Xavier to kill every non-mutant on Earth is just stupid.
The good definitely outweigh the bad here, and this is overall Singer’s best entry in the series. Really, this should have been the first movie in the series, as everything that happens in the original X-Men is non-essential.
4. X-Men: First Class (2011)
directed by Matthew Vaughn
I was excited for this one. I’m generally a fan of director Matthew Vaughn, who at the time had already made Layer Cake and Stardust, both excellent films. Rebooting the franchise was also (obviously) aces with me and the casting of Michael Fassbender as Magneto was PERFECT.
I didn’t like the film as much as I wanted to, but at the time I definitely thought it was the best X-Men film that had been made. The choice of characters was bizarre: Azazel, who I had never heard of before (and is stupid). Darwin? Angel (not even the famous one)?!
There was more casting that I was interested in. January Jones, still killing it on Mad Men seemed like a great choice to play Emma Frost (turns out she wasn’t). Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique, okay, the timeline doesn’t make sense since Mystique wouldn’t have been a teenager in the 60s but I like Lawrence so okay. Rose Byrne as Moira McTaggart? Okay. Kevin Bacon as Sebastian Shaw? So weird it might just work.
The filmmakers made some strange choices: MacTaggart isn’t a Scottish geneticist as she famously is in the comics, she’s an American CIA agent? Why use the same name then, just either make up a new character or use someone like Val Cooper instead? Why have Shaw and not give him his magnificent mutton chops? And why not make it the story of the original 5 X-Men? Why have Havok instead of Cyclops? Why not just use the New Mutants if you didn’t want the O5? Why have that strange combination of mutants instead, some being pretty obscure?
The list of character actors in the film is just magnificent. Oliver Platt, Ray Wise, Michael Ironside, James Remar? And Hugh Jackman’s cameo as Wolverine is just priceless.
The film kinda drags in places, but has a lot of clever concepts and ideas. It’s far from perfect but the positives far outweigh the negatives. Worth a rewatch.
3. Deadpool 2 (2018)
Who would have thought that movies about Deadpool (who is not a mutant, not matter what this film says) would be about the best made about X-Men characters? Certainly not me. I’ll get into what I like about the first film in the series next (spoiler) but let’s talk about why this film works.
First, Ryan Reynolds takes playing Deadpool seriously (not that the character is serious, just that he never appears to be stooping to play the role). The film doesn’t portray everything exactly as the comics do, and that’s absolutely okay, as long as you embrace the spirit of the comics, something that no previous X-Men movies (barring First Class and Days of Future Past) had.
I was particularly excited to see Cable in a film. It’s sort of strange that they cast Josh Brolin, seeing as how he was already Thanos over in the MCU, but I must admit I couldn’t think of a better actor to play him. I don’t typically watch trailers (I like to be surprised in the theater) so that’s pretty much all I was working with going in to the film.
Let’s talk about the bad parts: Morena Baccarin as Vanessa gets fridged in this film. For a movie about movie tropes it’s sort of shocking that they did this.
Screenwriters Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, who co-wrote the script alongside Ryan Reynolds, admit that they could have been more cognizant about those story decisions. When asked whether they worried about being criticized for fridging Cable’s family and Vanessa, Reese tells Vulture, “I would say no, we didn’t even think about it. And that was maybe our mistake, not to think about it. But it didn’t really even occur to us.” Indeed, they weren’t aware of this genre of criticism. “We didn’t know what fridging was,” Reese says.
https://www.vulture.com/2018/05/deadpool-2-writers-defend-treatment-of-female-characters.html
I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt on this one. While it’s a lazy plot device, not everyone has heard of the term. The film is made well enough that I genuinely believe it’s one of those things that they didn’t realize and it generated a productive conversation about the trope. So I’m moving on from this.
The only other thing in this film I didn’t care for was the portrayal of Shatterstar. While I really enjoyed the portrayal of X-Force I sort of wished they had used a different character than him as he doesn’t really deserve it, especially if you’ve read post-Liefeld representations of him. I’m not an obsessive fan of his by any stretch but he does have a lot. Maybe the MCU will do better with him.
Other than those two things I really enjoyed the film. They totally nailed Cable’s character (not an easy feat), they had surprise appearances from a whole host of characters, Colossus continues to be a great butt of jokes. Domino was great. Juggernaut was great (Did you know Ryan Reynolds played him too?). They even used Rusty Collins! AND his super obscure terrible codename Firefist. Just…wow.
Reynolds continues to really get Deadpool, and I hope he continues to portray him in future MCU films.
2. Deadpool (2016)
directed by Tim Miller
True story: I read comics in my early teens, stopped for about 20 years and then started up again about six years ago. The last time I had read something with Deadpool as a character he was an annoying villain that was Liefeld ripping off Spiderman and combining him with Cable (costumes included). When I started up reading again, I was shocked to find that he was such a popular character. I remember thinking, “Seriously?“
Listen: I don’t generally care for Deadpool as a comic character. When written well he can be a lot of fun (Gerry Dugan is very good at this). Written badly he is like Family Guy landing in the middle of what I’m reading and I don’t like Family Guy. A little Deadpool goes a long way with me.
I also don’t really care for Ryan Reynolds. My introduction to him was the terrible sitcom Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place, the kind of show you watched because there was no Netflix yet and you didn’t have cable. He played the Horny Best Friend character there and continued to do so through much of career. I always viewed him as a pair of abs with an acting career.
So how did this movie come together? Why does it work? And even moreso, why is it the first film in 16 years to really understand how to make an X-Men film? It blew my mind.
It’s funny, it has just a little heart, and it’s full of scatological jokes, which keeps it true to the character in the comics. It was a revelation. I loved it. I couldn’t believe I liked Deadpool.. Mind blown.
1. Logan (2017)
directed by James Mangold
And then came Logan. Deadpool showed us it could be done, Logan took us all the way and then some.
Not only a great superhero or X-Men film, Logan is a truly great film on its own, dealing with mortality and loss and sorrow. I can’t believe it got made, to be honest, it’s so good. Hugh Jackman has always been the best thing about Wolverine on screen, it’s just the lines he has to say and the movies around him are typically garbage. Not here, oh no.
Patrick Stewart reminds everybody how incredible of an actor he is when given the right material. Stephen Merchant (!) is magnificent as Caliban. The monologue Boyd Holbrook gives at the beginning of the film is so good that I included him on my list of best superhero movie villains. They even manage to make Laura a compelling character despite the fact that she is a child in this.
There is no question in my mind about which which X-Men film really captures the spirit of the series and takes it places that make sense and enrich the comic as well. Logan does it. Boy, does it ever.
(I literally think I’m going to watch it now, as I’ve pumped myself up for it.)